


You gotta be kitten me right meow (not updated often)

by orphan_account



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bittybones, Bitty reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2018-12-13 16:11:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11763558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Enter Abbas, an alley-cat in Ebott City after the barrier was broken. (First fic, please give constructive criticism!)





	1. First Meeting

Abbas trotted down the alleyway, their head low to the ground and their mouth open as they tasted the scent of their quarry. They rounded the corner and heard a squeak. Their ears flicked back and they dropped into a crouch, slinking towards their prey. The rat looked up and Abbas pounced, their teeth and claws sinking into the rat as it thrashed briefly before falling limp. Abbas dipped their head and unhooked their claws, picking up the rat by the back of its neck. They made to slink back the way they came, but a sound behind them drew their curiosity. They turned, and still carrying the rat, prowled down the alley towards the sound.

Two male humans were arguing, their rough voices reaching Abbas’ ears from where they approached. One thrust out a hand, something that wriggled caught in the meaty digits. Abbas leaped onto a nearby dumpster, tucking their paws under them and setting down the rat on the filthy lid. Both of the male humans stared at Abbas with a cruel sneer. Abbas untucked a paw and extended their claws, using their rough tongue to wash between them, an unspoken threat to the two males from the wolf-sized feline. The one holding the wriggling thing growled at Abbas as they examined their long, sharp claws. The male stepped closer, still growling as the wriggling thing gave a yell at the increased pressure of the male’s fist. Abbas’ ears went back and they hissed, both at the proximity of the male and at the pain of what was enclosed in its fingers. The paw they had been grooming flashed out across the human's face.

The human yelped and dropped the thing in his hand to the ground, backing away. Abbas leaped down from the dumpster, still hissing, to stand over the suddenly motionless bundle. The male cursed at them but made no attempt to come closer. Abbas dipped their head to the top of the bundle and picked it up by a hood of cloth on its top, the rat of before forgotten. Suddenly the bundle burst into motion, thrashing from side to side as Abbas rose and turned from the two males and began to lope down the alley, quickly vanishing from the two males’ sight. The bundle grew still.

As they rounded the corner Abbas shivered from their muzzle to the tip of their tail, making the bundle shake, at the feeling of something soaking into their fur although they remained dry. As Abbas began to slow, approaching the stretch of alley they called home, the bundle began to thrash again, right up to the point where Abbas dropped it into their nest and lied down to get a better look at it. What they now realized was a skeleton in a red, fuzzy hood began to grumble, with only a few legible words sticking out to Abbas. They mewed gently at it, lowering their head, and again felt something soak into their pelt.

“th’ fuck?” The skeleton’s ramblings cleared into something understandable.

“it has a soul, why isn’t it working?” Abbas purred in amusement, which caused the skeleton to stutter in his one-sided conversation. “yeh can understand me?” The skeleton sputtered. Abbas responded with a gentle headbutt to his upper half.

~le timeskip~

"well this is a _purr_ dicament." Edgy muttered, still processing that the massive pelted animal in front of him could understand what he said. The cat headbutted Edgy again, making him sway on his feet. Somehow he got the feeling that was their version of a groan. He was contemplating the dynamics of a cat even knowing what a pun was when the cat rose. Startled, Edgy, slightly alarmingly, pin-wheeled his arms as he fell backwards into a pile of fluff. The cat sniffed at him, sneezed, and then padded away into the recesses of the city. To put it quite simply, Edgy was confused.

"what" Edgy could only say, even as the cat returned with its teeth-no wait they, they're able to understand him, fuck he needs to ask about pronouns if they have any-tightly clenched in a mass of brown fur.

(being worked on need more ideas)


	2. A Breath of Fresh Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new environment and someone new. A week after the first meeting.

Abbas trotted down the alleyway with a bag scrunched in their jaws. As they approached the box they called home, a small, angry skeleton wrestled out of the mess of dirty blankets inside. Abbas jerked their head and let go of the bag, which then sailed through the air to land with a thump beside the bitty. “oi, be careful with that,”

Abbas gently cuffed him around the head with a paw, all in good fun of course. “shit!” 

The bitty pitched forwards and rammed face-first into the brown paper of the bag, knocking it over in a cacophony of crinkling. Abbas huffed in amusement as the bitty picked himself up and jabbed an accusatory finger at the Maine Coon. “i’ll get you back for that.”

Abbas rolled their eyes so hard their head followed the movement, as if to say, ‘I’m sure you will,’ before hopping over the nest of blankets to the meager store of stolen cat food.

After they’ve both eaten, Abbas trotted over to Edgy, snagging the back of his hoodie in their jaws. “y’know I could just teleport, right? you don’t have to carry me like a kitten.”

Abbas indignantly paced down the alleyway, Edgy bobbing gently in their hold. 

“where’re we goin’?” Edgy asked after a while, just as the cement alleyway opened up, answering his question. 

Edgy grunted in surprise as they stepped onto the black tar of the road. They scampered across, a narrow miss with a car earning it a, “watch where you’re fuckin’ driving!” from Edgy.

Abbas almost erupted into purring as soon as they set foot on the damp grass, the greenery soothing their scratched and roughened paws. 

Edgy swung from Abbas’ teeth as they trotted excitedly to the cool shade of a darkly-leaved tree.

They flopped down on the cooled grass, basking in the shade after setting down Edgy between their paws. 

Edgy simply stood in place, transfixed by the blades of grass waving in the wind and the rustle of leaves. 

After a few minutes Abbas was almost asleep before they were awoken by a, “ack!”

Something, or maybe someone, tripped over Abbas and faceplanted into the turf. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bitty readers belong to rivet Bittybones belongs to cry  
> Updated at my leisure.  
> Thank you so much for reading, comments are always amazing!  
> (also I love theories!)  
> (my reference for animal gaits: https://vimeo.com/215637283)


	3. GUESS WHAT UNIVERSE THIS IS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edgy and Abbas go to the park.

“stars, dammit.” The newcomer cursed, the clacking of bones and the rustle of orange fabric echoing in the park as they struggled to their feet. 

“what did i trip over-?” The tall figure turned to face Abbas, revealing him as another skeleton and a Papyrus. 

With a ping, his soul turned blue, and he was slammed, flailing wildly, into the ground. “augh!”

Edgy edged (heh) around the downed skeleton before CHECKing Abbas for any injuries.

He then turned back to the struggling skeleton on the ground and walked up to where his face was smushed into the turf.

“okay, first of all, fuck you.”

The giant skeleton froze.

“second of all,  _ fuck. you _ .”

Edgy plodded forwards before placing his heel directly in front of the gargantuan skeleton’s head as he managed to raise it enough to meet Edgy’s eyes.

“third of all,” Edgy leaned in, a dark tone coloring his voice, “ **stay the fuck away from us.** ”

Edgy underlined the last sentence by throwing the Papyrus a couple meters away into the middle of the park.

Edgy quickly walked back to Abbas, whom was practically beaming with pride.

The Papyrus struggled to his feet, the front of his hoodie streaked with green from the grass. Edgy glared again. Abbas added a sharp hiss. 

Wisely, the Papyrus backed off, circling around them to where he came from. 

Abbas shifted, rolling over in the dewy grass and letting it soak their fur.

“pleh.” Edgy said, pulling a fluff of dislodged fur from his face. “d’yeh haveta shed so much?”

Abbas playfully batted at him, gentle blows that made him sway slightly on his feet. 

“ah.”

Abbas rolled over to face Edgy, their fur ruffling. “we got a voider.”

Abbas followed Edgy’s gaze to a pissed off Alpha Sans, whom’s eyes were indeed black as the  void. 


	4. Might as well.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Dedicated To Guests Fangirl and Ellie, though it was really the latter that kicked my butt in gear.  
> Edgy and Abbas go to the park continuation.

Edgy teleported to Abbas’ side and tangled his hand in their fur, a shark-toothed grimace adorning his face. They both hissed in unison, warning off the more temperamental skeleton. He ignored it, too intent on his quiet fury. Edgy pressed into Abbas’ side, mouth opening in a defensive snarl. The Sans stopped in front of them, a rictus grin lining his face.

“quit it.” Edgy snarled. “and get to the point.”

“can’t argue with that.” The Sans shrugged, body relaxed even as a blue-yellow light strobed in his eye socket. 

Bones burst into existence behind his back with a crackle, Edgy doing the same with a quieter noise. 

The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

Abbas meowed indignantly.

“what?” Edgy said, face turning upwards to stare at the determined cat. “no.” 

Abbas meowed again. 

“n. o. no. not even if he has those.”

Abbas huffed, in a way that screamed, ‘I’m bigger, I do what I want,’ and padded up to the tense Sans. They placed a pair of paws on his shoulders, looming impressively, and ducked their head to rub it against his cheek. The lines of tension dissolved from Sans’ face as Abbas flopped adorably on their back, the wolf-sized cat wriggling in the grass as Sans ran his phalanges through their belly fur. “heh. you’re a sweetheart, aren’tcha?” 

“what’re yeh doin?” Edgy muttered as he paced next to their head. It tilted, in a faux stretch, and winked at him with one eye. Edgy grumbled, playing the part, and resigned himself to sucking up to a Tale Sans for the rest of the day. 

Sans’ eyelights traveled their body, taking in the tannish cream of their underside and the brown/black patterns that caressed their fur. The two pinpricks ended at their flicking, excited tail and haunches, taking in the scars left behind from a vet operation before being let back out onto the streets, a wound or two, and a broken foreleg. He addressed Edgy, “yo. you know what it was before?”

Edgy glared hotly in offense. “ _ they _ never gave me any hints, that’s for sure.”

Sans lifted his hands from their underside to put them up in an ‘I surrender’ pose. “a’ight, a’ight. i get the point.” 

Sans resumed petting them, letting the silky, somewhat dirty fur slip along his phalanges as he scritched behind an ear. Abbas purred languidly, eyes almost rolling up into their skull as they leaned into Sans’ firm touch. 

Edgy muttered wearily, pulling closer to Abbas’ fur in defeat as another, shorter, skeleton bounded up to kneel beside the Tale Sans. Probably the brother of the earlier Papyrus, now that Abbas thought about it. “SANS…? IS THAT...THE...CAT…?”

“yeah.” 

The Swap Sans was being weirdly cautious, for those of his universe. “WHERE’S THE BITTY?”

“somewhere nearby, no doubt. i can hear him grumbling from here.” 

The Swap Sans reached out a hand carefully, and Abbas pressed their face into the hand eagerly.

“WOWIE! IT’S SO NICE, NOT AT ALL LIKE PAPY SAID!” 

“ah. by the way, they go by they/them, as the edgy told me.” 

The Swap Sans leaped to apologise. “OH. OHH! I’MSOSORRYBIGKITTYTHATIUSEDTHEWRONGPRONOUNSCANYOUFORGIVEME?!?!?”

Abbas meowed agreeably.

“THEY LIKE ME!”

“sure seems so. wonder what paps did?”

Edgy spoke up. “he kicked them.”

Swap Sans jumped in fright and Abbas meowed chastistingly. 

“that is what happened, don’t deny it. he deserved to get thrown.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you and good night!  
> alSO SURPRISE I'M NOT DEAD!  
> Abbas' Pattern  
> http://www.mcbfa.org/colorbrownmack.jpg


	5. Reader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edgy and Abbas are cat-napped

The Swap Sans quickly gained confidence, and soon enough was practically cuddling Abbas on the grass.

Edgy hissed with displeasure as he was squished against the cat’s side, but didn’t dare utter a word. 

Sneakers scuffed the grass as a third person walked up. “hey bro.”

“HI PAPY!” Sans cried from where he was buried in Abbas’ fur, their tongue scraping over his skull with care. 

“what’cha doin’ that  _ fur _ ?”

“PAPYRUS!” Sans groaned. “AND THEY’RE FLUFFY, THAT’S WHY.”

“‘n’ why’re they bein’ nice ta ya?”

“PAPYRUS, STOP BEING SUSPICIOUS. YOU HARMED THEM AND THEY RETALIATED. AND WE’RE TAKING THEM HOME.”   
“wha?” Said both Papyrus and Edgy.

Edgy wriggled out from under Sans and spat, “HELL NO! i ain’t going anywhere with that trashbag!” He pointed harshly up at the startled Papyrus. 

“woah woah wait.” Papyrus attempted to protest as Sans scooped up Abbas as best he could, his height making it so he only got half of them off the ground, holding them under the front legs.

Determinedly Sans started to drag Abbas across the grass, whining when he only got a few feet.

“PAPYRUSSSS!” He howled in distress. 

“yeah yeah. i got it bro.” Abbas was scooped without resistance into the tall monster’s arms. 

Edgy growled and teleported with a flash of red magic to land on Abbas’ belly. He snarled up at Papyrus,”One wrong move and you're  _ dust _ , got it?”

“yeah yeah.” Paps drawled unconcernedly. 

Abbas had a look on their face that screamed, ‘No shits left to give’. 

Sans shouted, “ONWARDS!” and promptly ran off.

Papyrus snorted in amusement as he trudged after his bro, tiny skeleton and gargantuan cat in tow. There were stares as they exited the park. The sight of a wolf-sized cat on its own was a bizarre image, but along with the three skeletons? It was beyond perplexing. 

Sans romped down the road, stars in his eye sockets as he crossed the asphalt. Abbas twisted their head to look down and meowed apprehensively at the scorching ground. Papyrus, noticing their fear of the practically burning ground, hoisted them higher.

Edgy huffed as he was shifted, growling upwards at Papyrus before subsiding. He laid down to sulk, resigning himself to being carted around by the skeleton. 

The party was accosted by several different monsters. Abbas liked Catty, a cat monster, the best, of course. At one point another Papyrus had bounded up and engaged Sans in a rapid-fire conversation, halting them until the excitable skeleton moved on.

Edgy’s head was popped up over the skeleton-camouflage that was Abbas’ underbelly, warily watching and growling at passerby that got too close, in his opinion. 

A Fell Papyrus approached and Edgy stiffened in defense. The Papyrus noticed this with a snort, and continued on his way. Edgy relaxed, a bit of sweat adorning his brow, and remained where he was, in clear view. A Fell Sans hurried after the Papyrus, casting a cursory glance back at the bitty, before quickly falling in line with his brother. 

Sans romped right up to a house with snow on top of it, bursting through the door with a shout of, “WE’RE HOME!!!”

Papyrus ducked under the doorframe and headed for the couch, dumping both cat and bitty on it before collapsing onto the neighboring cushion in a rattle of bones.

Edgy fought to his feet and snarled openly in distaste, struggling to keep his balance on the leather as Abbas shifted to a more upwards position. 

“welp. here we are. home.”

Papyrus gestured around the humble abode. Abbas jumped off the couch and promptly set off to explore, jumping onto counters and tables. And, of course, up the fridge. What they found was a fluffy mound of toys and blanket, some of it shifting slightly, like it was breathing. Abbas meowed at it. 

The blanket covering the spot lifted up, revealing two humanoids. One squeaked in fear and hid behind the other, the pale green of timidness colouring their sweater. The other ‘reader’, clothed in the dark green of kindness, meowed right back. Abbas tilted their head, and moved their head forwards to boop the reader’s stomach. 

They subtly doubled over with a huff, and Abbas let out a stuttering meow of laughter. They dropped back down and ran meowing to the couch, jumping onto the couch clumsily and nabbing Edgy in their teeth. Papyrus stiffened, unsettled by the abruptness and Edgy’s closeness to their teeth. 

Abbas ‘mwrrow’ed and trotted back to the fridge, muffled meows trailing from their maw, to introduce Edgy to the readers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me ages to get this all down, but still. I need moar ideas to keep going. You know who you are, get crackin'

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! The Bitty Reader AU is by Rivethart, and the Bittybones AU by Crybaby!


End file.
